Inner Beasts

           

            The things I always carry are my phone, wallet and the feelings of anger and guilt. My phone is my life, without It I wouldn’t be able to keep in touch with my friends and family. My wallet has my identity and other necessities that I need in my daily life. The anger I carry is from my parents divorce and my past relationships, it changed my life dramatically. I grew up in two completely different homes. One was a religious home that revolved around god. The other was the struggle of just making sure we didn’t live on the streets. I carry the guilt of being able to resolve the problems in my relationships, but not the will to do them. It’s the feeling of being paralyzed, or what I like to call it being stubborn. When you know you’re in the wrong, but you can’t admit it. Having the attributes of stubborn and angry are the worst possible things anyone could ever have. All they do is create problems and misery. Throughout growing up I’ve been called “To far Tony” for always making things bigger than what they really are. I’ve never minded being called that until I finally realize that it’s a curse to me. It defines who I am in the worst way. The anger within me is like a beast trapped by my own will. But it leaks and when it does its powerful and evil and I would never unleash it upon anyone willingly. I don’t ever like being thought of as scary to anyone.